Satan's saddle / why has my backside's been sore for weeks?

An interesting title I'm sure you will all agree and one I thought long and hard about writing. So yes, it's a little smutty and since Google will no doubt index this post I may receive a few click through visitors whose reason for dropping by are not entirely cycling motivated but hey, I'll take the risk.

But yes, my backside has been sore ever since Mrs T bought me a new saddle as a gift. I'm surprised I've not mentioned it sooner.... For a while I've been moaning the standard issue one that came with dear Florence is somewhat uncomfortable due mostly to it being as wide as an aircraft carriers flight deck.

"Just spend more time on the bike", pals told me. "You'll get used to it, it just needs breaking in..." said others.

Thankfully Mrs T got bored of my moaning and decided to get me a new saddle. Off she popped onto the internet and discovered the Fizik website having found mention of this brand of saddle in an advert in one of my Pro Cycling mags. Well thats what she says.... I suspect she saw the name across the "ever so cute" backsides of pro tour riders..... But anyway....

Should you click on the Fizik site you will find they are selling / suggesting people buy their wares in accordance to how flexible the end users spine is.

Great, thinks Mrs T. "My hubby's super flexible, he can put his hands flat on the floor with straight legs don't you know. That makes him a Snake which means I'll get him an Arione. Perfect..... its nice and narrow, should fit like a velvet glove".

Now I don't want to sound ungrateful but man this saddle is worse than the one that came with the bike. Its hard, stiff as a board and just does't feel good to sit on which I suspect is perhaps a prerequisite of a good saddle?

Anyway, post gift offering I duly installed it and within a few mins of my first ride my backside went numb. I've tried everything to get to like it. I've adjusted the height of the nose. I've moved it backwards and forwards on the rails etc but nothing seems to have worked. Nothing. Even using half a tub of chamois cream did nothing.

My sit bones are more painful than ever and I seem to have developed a John Wayne walking style due to having a permanent sensation of pain and discomfort in my backside area.

Clearly this cannot continue and I doubt I'll ever get used to it. I think I'd better be honest and tell Mrs T things just aren't working out.

Anyone have any other suggestions?